Christmas Day 2009

On Christmas morning Larry and I enjoyed helping Sara open gifts and opening a few of our own. But that was just the beginning of the fun!

For the second time in as many weeks Larry's side of the family all came together, this time for a Christmas Day brunch at our place. It was a nice time with family and was very mellow. As far as I was concerned, it could not have been much more pleasant.



As far as presents go, my favorites are my Blendtec blender (which I bought for myself a few weeks before Christmas, and with which I have been making smoothies like crazy), my new slippers, and a couple of cookbooks I received. Larry's favorite is probably his new compressor for the garage, plus he got some nice clothes. Sara's seems to like everything and has been flitting about between her indoor and outdoor tables, trampoline, books, puzzles, and Fisher-Price piggy bank. The house is quickly coming to resemble a Toys R Us!

Christmas Eve 2009

This year we celebrated Christmas Eve at Eric and Tanja's house. It was really fun this year, because Ryan especially totally "got it." He had a blast through the whole thing and was even a good boy during church. Sara got more into opening presents as the celebrations progressed.

Sara and Ryan by their kids' table


Eric and his baby boy


My baby girl, one of my precious baby boys, and I. This was the first time I had done my hair and put on makeup in a long time. I look so good! LOL

The boys sitting down to an Italian-themed dinner


So many presents


Daddy and his cheesy-faced girl


We all think Blake looks like Grandpa Frank (Eric's dad)


Family portrait attempt #6. This is as good as it's going to get, folks.

Carla's birthday

Alex's wife Carla's birthday is also a few days for Christmas. We got together on the Sunday before Christmas to celebrate. We went to Mexico 1900, a popular Mexican food restaurant with the locals. After dinner everyone came back to our place.

Daddy and his baby girl


Ryan, Eric, Tanja, and "Beakers"


Mowles family (I desperately need to go to the eye doctor so I've been wearing my glasses a lot more than usual)


Carla, Kyle, and Alex

Onkel Eric and Baby Kyle


Tante Tina and Baby Kyle


Baby cousins Kyle and Blake. They are only about seven weeks apart.


Big brother Ryan gets in on the action

John's birthday

Larry's brother John's birthday is just a few days before Christmas, so we got together on the Saturday before the holiday to celebrate. We all enjoyed lunch at Benihana. Happy birthday, John!

Cousin Miranda was loving playing with Sara's hair


Our big group!


Gramma Daisy with her three great-grandkids, plus Billie, John, and Christal


Vicki and Megan

Fun outings

On the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend we took the trailer down to the beach for the day. The Tyners joined us for a cold but beautiful day.

I love Sara's hair like this. It's so ridiculous but so cute.


Ryan was shredding on Sara's trike


A week later Larry signed up for his annual Disney passport. The park was decorated for Christmas and looked beautiful!


A few days later Tanja and I took the kids to the mall for Santa pictures. The mall has a play area which was teeming with little kids.

Ryan loved the monster truck!


Sara loves her Tante Tanja and "Beak"

Thanksgiving

We did not decide on our Thanksgiving plans this year until the day before the holiday. At the last moment, my siblings and I all decided to get together at our place, and we actually pulled off quite a lovely day!

Baby Kyle and I


Alex and his baby boy


The table

I love Blake's tragic face here


Our little ham


Our little family

Halloween night

For the second year in a row we went over to Tanja and Eric's house for Halloween. Just think: two years ago that night was the last night of my pregnancy with Sara!

All of the kids looked adorable, but we did not manage to get a picture of all four stateside cousins together.

Sara's second birthday party

We had Sara's second birthday party on Halloween morning. It was a beautiful day filled with lots of our favorite people and plenty of sunshine.

The best-laid plans of mice and men...

Almost three years ago, Larry and I decided that it was finally time to try for a baby. Less than a year later, our sweet Sara Jo arrived. She gave us a big scare when she was brand new, but ultimately she showed herself to be wonderfully healthy.

About twenty months ago, I started to think about spacing and planning for Baby #2. Since I wanted the option for three kids and did not want to have a baby past 37 or so, I decided two-and-half to three years apart sounded about right, and Larry just kind of nodded and shrugged, along for the ride with my crazy planning. I thought the kids would be close enough in age to hopefully relate to each other fairly well but far enough apart to make child-rearing manageable for us.

So, about four months ago, we decided to throw caution to the wind--not necessarily to "try" for a baby, but to just see what happened. Four weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.

About two months ago, I was sitting around feeling tired and nauseated much of the time, wondering what on earth I had done, whether I was really ready for another baby. I was grateful to be pregnant but also feeling pretty unwell. I called Anna and just cried to her, while she reassured me that everything I was feeling--physically and mentally--was normal. I would get past it.

About one month ago, I did get past it. My mental outlook was better, my energy was returning, and my major food aversions were subsiding. Things were looking up! I could hear our baby's heartbeat on a home doppler machine and was starting to wonder, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I started to look forward to having my belly pop out and to feeling the baby move.

About three weeks ago, I went to see my OB for a routine visit at twelve-and-a-half weeks pregnant. I inquired about prenatal testing, which we had done with Sara and wanted to do again. Larry and I had talked about it, and we both agreed that we would rather know than be surprised with a poor outcome if at all possible. My blood was drawn that day, and I was given an appointment for an "NT scan," which, along with my blood results, would give me a "risk assessment" for common chromosomal disorders.

About two-and-half weeks ago, I dropped Sara off at Tanja's house and headed to my NT scan by myself. I was excited for a chance to see a glimpse of our baby and was hoping for a "money shot" so I could start guessing about the baby's gender. I had been at Tanja's NT scan with her several months before, when baby Blake had made his sex very, very obvious to us. At my appointment, due to a paperwork mix-up, I got called in for the ultrasound prior to meeting with the genetic counselor, which is the opposite of the typical protocol. I didn't mind. I was looking forward to an extra little glimpse of our baby.

And then things started to unravel. Our baby wasn't moving very much, and the technician was having trouble getting a measurement. The baby was measuring small, about ten days behind where it should have been. When the perinatal doctor was finally able to get the nuchal fold measurement, she said something like, "Well, I can't make that be small. This is going to be a screen positive." I didn't know what that meant, but I was suddenly very scared. I asked her if I should call my husband, and she said it would be a good idea.

About eighteen days and three-and-a-half hours ago, Larry and I sat in front of a genetic counselor while she delivered the results of our risk assessment. I knew we were a "screen positive," but I didn't know what to expect in terms of numbers. I don't know--maybe 1 in 25 or something? I do know that I wasn't expecting anything close to what she told us, and the risk assessment was like a punch in the gut. Our baby had a 1 in 10 chance of Down Syndrome. "That's really high," I thought. But then came the even-worse news: Our baby had a 1 in 5 chance of Trisomy 18. "What's that?" Larry asked. I sobbed.

I already knew a bit about Trisomy 18, because I have two former-coworkers who have had children with this syndrome. In the first case, the baby survived the pregnancy and died two or three weeks after childbirth. In the second case, the baby was stillborn. "That's a death sentence," I told Larry.

Eighteen days and about two hours ago, I was lying on an examination table in Long Beach, sobbing after a CVS procedure. The procedure itself was not painful, but we were shocked and scared and overwhelmed by all the what-ifs. In the course of a few hours, all of our hopes and plans for a May baby had been turned upside-down.

All I can say about the week that followed is that it was incredibly stressful. Larry and I knew we would be fine whatever the outcome, but we were so scared. We tried to stay positive and to remind ourselves that the odds were still in our favor, but we didn't know anyone with a risk assessment remotely close to ours. Things were not looking good. Still, we tried to stay as busy and distracted as possible. The what-ifs were just too much to take.

Eleven days and about four hours ago, Larry and I sat in an examination room at our OB's office, not knowing whether he would have any news for us. He did, and it was, in his words, "not good."

"How bad is it?" I asked.

"It's really bad."

Our unborn baby had Trisomy 18. The baby was terminally ill. It was not a question of if our baby would die; it was merely a question of when.

Nine days ago, we said goodbye to the baby we never really got a chance to know. The days before and since have seen us surfing through waves of grief, anger, disbelief. I'm sure there will be more of that in the days to come. The emotions are all over the place.

Here's what I know. I know that our family will be just fine. I know that I am still grateful for all the things I was grateful for before: family, friends, love, life. I know that our God is a loving God.

Here's what I don't know. I don't know how well I'll endure the first half of any subsequent pregnancy, the part before blood and ultrasound technology can leave me relatively assured that the baby is healthy. I don't know whether the possibility of three kids is still in the cards for us. I don't know whether the larger age gap between Sara and her (I hope) future sibling will be a good thing.

I think it was John Lennon who so famously said, "Life is what happens while you're making other plans." Indeed. At this point, I don't have enough distance from this experience to really have any wisdom to share. I just know that we will be okay. This sadness might or might not linger, but it will not consume us.

Sometimes bad things just happen.

Baby Blake

On Tuesday, September 22nd, I had the extraordinary opportunity to witness Tanja's induction and the speedy birth of my newest nephew Blake. Tanja elected to be induced because her fast labor with Ryan had her worried that she might not make it to the hospital on time or might miss her chance for the epidural.

At about 9:45 a.m., the pitocin was started. Not quite four hours later, after just a few pushes, Blake made his arrival. What a sweet little baby boy he is.

Sick days

It has been a frustrating ten-or-so days around here.

On Tuesday, September 22nd, I got to witness the amazing birth of my newest beautiful nephew, Blake Eric Tyner. He is adorable, and he looks like a pink version of his older brother. I will devote another blog post to some pictures and a couple of details about his arrival.



Unfortunately, when Blake was three days old, Sara spiked a 103 fever and has been sick ever since. The doctors have told me it's just an upper respiratory infection, but that doesn't mean I want her snot or her scary-sounding cough anywhere near a precious newborn baby--not to mention Baby Kyle, who is almost two months old, or Baby Leo (the Rosas' newest addition), who is only a month old.

In fact, my best friend Anna has been visiting from Maryland (a post on that will follow, too), and between her sick kids and my sick kid, we didn't see each other at all for several days, and our visits have been limited to outdoors, where at least the germs don't recirculate around the room.

Now I'm sick, and though it's just Sara's cold that she has shared with me, it's no fun. Here's hoping we all feel better soon!

Baby shower/fight night

Last week we had a family baby shower/UFC fight night party to acknowledge and welcome Tanja's second baby boy, due in late September. The party had a fun, casual atmosphere, and I think the guests had lots of fun. We can't wait for this baby boy (Blake? Jake? Luke? Something else?) to get here and join his brand new cousin Kyle, not to mention his older brother and cousins! We all love him so much already!

Welcome, Kyle Alexander!

When Carla showed some signs of preeclampsia at her OB appointment on Wednesday, the doctor decided it was time to induce. In the wee hours of Thursday morning, little Kyle Alexander made his arrival.

He is very cute and small (7 pounds, 2 ounces and just under 20 inches long) and snuggly. We all love him already and are thrilled to have this newest member of our family. He is currently receiving phototherapy for some jaundice, which we are hoping will clear up very soon.

Congratulations to Alex and Carla! Enjoy your beautiful baby boy!

Catching up: The 4th of July

On July 4th we had no plans, so we invited ourselves over to Larry Sr. and Paula's house. Everyone enjoyed a nice steak dinner, and the men played a bit with some sparklers we had bought. Once it was dark, we headed out to the front porch, where the illegal fireworks were easily seen and quite impressive.

Catching up: The third of July

We had a wonderful, busy 4th of July weekend. We kicked things off on July 3rd by visiting Seal Beach before Sara's nap and attending a barbecue at Alex and Carla's new home after. At Alex and Carla's Sara got a chance to play with Tyler and Abby Babikian, and she loved every minute of it.

Summer

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, so this is just to say HI and that we are keeping busy around here. Here's some of what's going on:

• Effective September 1st, we are leasing our condo and moving into my parents' rental home. This will give us a yard for Sara and a third bedroom, which we hope to need maybe sometime in the latter half of next year.
• Carla and Tanja's pregnancies are progressing beautifully. Carla is now 37 weeks pregnant, so baby Kyle could be here any day!
• We have been spending lots of time visiting Buccaneer Bay at Splash! That place is so much fun! Sara doesn't like it when the water is cold, but she's getting used to it.
• Sara is becoming more demanding (complete with mini-tantrums and lots of foot-stomping) but also more affectionate. She has taken to running up to us and hugging us without prompting, which is pretty much the sweetest thing ever.
  

I hope you're enjoying your summer, too!

Cousins

Sara has two cousins on Larry's side and four cousins on my side with two more on the way. Of all her cousins, she spends the most time with Ryan, because he is the closest in age and lives the closest.

Sara and Ryan have a very cute relationship. He looks out for her by holding her hands when she climbs stairs and bringing her to me when she falls, and Sara adores her cousin. She follows him everywhere. She loves "Rine."

Tanja spent a few days in Boston recently, so Sara and I got some extra time with Ryan. She couldn't wait to wake him up from his nap the other day. The video is very dark, but you should be able to hear Sara calling Ryan's name over and over.

Family vacation 2009: Lopez Lake

It has become tradition in recent years for my side of the family to go on a camping trip each summer. This year we planned the trip for a bit earlier in anticipation of little Kyle's arrival in early August. Off we went to Lopez Lake: our little family, my parents, my two stateside siblings, and our friends the Merediths and the Ramsiers.



This was our first trip to Lopez Lake. I don't think anyone liked it quite as well as our beloved Shaver Lake, but it was a fun trip. Larry and I decided to rent a Waverunner, and that certainly increased the fun factor quite a bit! Nothing quite like zipping across the water at high speed with very little other watercraft traffic!

Carla's baby shower

Tanja and I hosted a baby shower for Carla on Saturday. Little Kyle Alexander is due in early August, and we could not be more excited!

Preg and pregger


Kyle's oma and mama


Yummy food from Gondola's


Ladies chatting



Beautiful, delicious cake by Rosina


All-blacks rugby teddy


Preparing the the new reality...


It was a fun day!